Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
