he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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