people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
