I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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