I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's blow job season.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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