butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
