hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
