I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
