there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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