WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
