and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
