I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize