Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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