all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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