how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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