she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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