I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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