Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
