My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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