As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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