dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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