There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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