It's Friday. Sex?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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