Are we in a gay sports bar?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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