she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize