WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
