im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
