never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize