Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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