mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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