If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Buhtt sex?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
