Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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