You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
