you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize