last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
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I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
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You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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