What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
