i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
