Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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