Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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