i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Never joke about your clitoris.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
