very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
