Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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