I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
