Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Enjoy the penises
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
