we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
