Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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