oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
