I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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