girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you win again, gameday.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Your penis caused this!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
