dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
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I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
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I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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