we were pretty classy up until the second keg
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
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I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
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I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
FUCK WHALES
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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