Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
