I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
