then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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