Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize