Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
