Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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