I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You need Xanax blowdarts
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize