i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize