Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
